Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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