come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
