just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
