do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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