I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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