The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
