Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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