He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
