I wish they made helmets for livers.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
His nipple licking is glorious
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