I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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