What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
