Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
