sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
