I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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