Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
