Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
