somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
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