so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
