i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
