Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
