At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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