What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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