How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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