Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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