I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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