We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
