i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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