I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
That accounts for only three of the penises
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
