I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
