Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
