Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You made out with two different species that night
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
