you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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