I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
