there was a trapeze. enough said
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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