i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
