i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and i looked up. we had an audience...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
