I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize