i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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