Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
