id be glad to
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
