Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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