3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
i out mim tonsoeep
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
