sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just found puke in my bra..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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