I don't think brook has ever known best
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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