No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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