Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
they need to just BURY HIM!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
