he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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