On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
