i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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