And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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