thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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