how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
