my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Everclear isn't food dammit
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