you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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