Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
