Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
