too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
is it fun? or sober?
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