I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
