How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize