I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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