Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
