Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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