There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize